it is occasionally a beautiful thing to be this wrong...
weighted bear crawls @ 2x35# dumbells. 800m.
it was supposed to be a mile.
within 20 feet i realized my mistake, realized that i had underestimated the work - overestimated my ability...
these are the moments i seek. moments when things get a little ugly. when you have to eat your words. when the dark voices have the weight and timber of another person, an attitude and a persuasiveness that must be fought with wits and will.
the first lap took 30 minutes. the second - 34. large angry blisters had formed, i was afraid to look - afraid it might be bad enough to make me quit. not "make" me quit. i knew it was hurt, not injury. that it wasnt going to be much worse if i finished. that the damage was done... no, i was afraid of an excuse to quit.
but now that its over, i need to review. what was the use of such a workout? my body is no where near as sore as those angry red holes in my hands... yes, the work was hard - but was it worth it?
for the first few years of someones training, everything works. in the beginning training is most often used as a tool for behavior modification - harder and harder workouts build confidence, increase tolerance and continually redefine words like "tired", "heavy" and "hard"... eventually though, hard is no longer enough. working harder often looks like progress - but eventually you must ask if you are working hard in the right direction....
be critical. i would not repeat this workout. i would not prescribe it. i am going to do it with bodyweight for 1/4 mile. that should be more strain on my body, less tearing on my hands, and likely the same time frame (maybe a little shorter) . while i do not have a specific fitness goal, i do not want to fall into the trap of "hard for hards sake". difficulty can serve as a distraction from progress. sometimes we work hard to hide from questions we are afraid to answer. we sometimes work hard to avoid progress - to avoid changing...
harder workouts are different right? i am getting better right? it cant be a plateau, i don't need a change....
meaningful training. intelligent training.
work hard. question everything.
is it worth the cost?
is it making me better?
if not, fucking change it.
|in the end, there are questions to be answered. am i closer to my goal, or further away? was this useful? was this worth it? what now?|