Monday, June 18, 2012



it is occasionally a beautiful thing to be this wrong...

weighted bear crawls @ 2x35# dumbells. 800m.

it was supposed to be a mile.

within 20 feet i realized my mistake, realized that i had underestimated the work - overestimated my ability...

these are the moments i seek. moments when things get a little ugly. when you have to eat your words. when the dark voices have the weight and timber of another person, an attitude and a persuasiveness that must be fought with wits and will.

the first lap took 30 minutes. the second - 34. large angry blisters had formed, i was afraid to look - afraid it might be bad enough to make me quit. not "make" me quit. i knew it was hurt, not injury. that it wasnt going to be much worse if i finished. that the damage was done... no, i was afraid of an excuse to quit.

but now that its over, i need to review. what was the use of such a workout? my body is no where near as sore as those angry red holes in my hands... yes, the work was hard - but was it worth it?

for the first few years of someones training, everything works. in the beginning training is most often used as a tool for behavior modification - harder and harder workouts build confidence, increase tolerance and continually redefine words like "tired", "heavy" and "hard"... eventually though, hard is no longer enough. working harder often looks like progress  - but eventually you must ask if you are working hard in the right direction....

be critical. i would not repeat this workout. i would not prescribe it. i am going to do it with bodyweight for 1/4 mile. that should be more strain on my body, less tearing on my hands, and likely the same time frame (maybe a little shorter) . while i do not have a specific fitness goal, i do not want to fall into the trap of "hard for hards sake". difficulty can serve as a distraction from progress. sometimes we work hard to hide from questions we are afraid to answer.  we sometimes work hard to avoid progress - to avoid changing...

harder workouts are different right? i am getting better right?  it cant be a plateau, i don't need a change....

meaningful training.  intelligent training.

work hard. question everything.

is it worth the cost?

is it making me better?

if not, fucking change it.

in the end, there are questions to be answered. am i closer to my goal, or further away? was this useful? was this worth it? what now?



  2. occasionally we need proof of out willpower. of our willingness to wield the knife and dig out that pound of flesh, to suffer in some small way... in a sick way it feels good - like proof - but once we fully inhabit that truth it is best left to the times that we truly need it. the individual who has the will to row until their hands look like that, the confidence to know it, and the patience to refrain from it until race day is a formidable one indeed.

  3. This is funny to me... albeit in a sick way. I had this exact same goal last week. After joking with a trainee about making him bear crawl a mile I decided to give it a try. I give you credit. I only made it 400M with 20# DBs before I quit. I realized my mistake within the first few meters, but my trainee was watching. I stuck with it for 400M and played it off like it was my "warmup". Ego. Then pullups. My grip wouldn't hold. Ego took it's toll. The silver dollar sized blister's reminded me I was an ass. I tried to do some OHS, but couldn't squat my body weight. Arms and legs were trembling. When I started this "workout" I had something I needed to prove. Something to kill. Something deeply wrong, that I substituted THIS for that. Well, that killed it. The recovery from this was brutal, I came down with some kind of cold this weekend, in no small part because of this. I felt those 400M with every lift yesterday. Yes, this is a bad idea. But sometimes bad ideas teach you more than good ones.

  4. I reject the notion that a life of ease and soft-living is the highest ideal. For it is only when a man is broken, bloodied, writhing in pain, robbed of sleep, deprived of food, and stripped of comfort that he truly knows himself.

    Pain will show you exactly who you are.