and answers i got. the good kind of answers. the ones that lead to more questions. some simple phrases i still need to repeat to myself, others proved to be the thread, that when tugged brought the whole picture into a different focus. as i sit today, waiting for a ride to take me back out there, its hard not to compare.
the warehouse is different now, a little bigger, a little more organized. i too am slightly heavier, and certainly more organized. in the last 4 years i have put 100 pounds on my deadlift, near that on my overhead squat, i have watched my capacity - my tolerance for work, increase while my body weight remained almost unchanged.
more than the physical changes, the last 4 years have taught me much about capacity and tolerance. about stretching and about focus. about true cost and what i am willing to pay.
the most interesting comparison, however, lies in motivation. in the uneasy feelings about testing and confronting the unknown. 4 years ago i was worried about the work. about how hard it would be, and what kind of people i would be dealing with. this time, it is not the work that makes me anxious, but the fear of letting people down.
for everyone who has helped me. who has motivated me. who put their faith in me. i sincerely thank you, and i hope i can prove to you your sacrifices were not made in vain.
"onward"
the airdyne is often a case study in coping mechanisms. it has been wonderful to watch mary work, grow and begin understand her abilities. she is running her first warrior dash today, a feat i could not witness because of my travel plans...
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